Thursday, October 11, 2007

ALL YOU HORSE LOVERS: RULES OF THE BARN

This was too cute not to pass along! This was a "pass-along" from one of my Yahoo!group sites.

Rules of the Barn

1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes.
Please take that into consideration when you are
standing on my foot.

2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled
in another horses stall. It still belongs to that
particular horse. You have no reason to go in and
eat it.

3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day. I
will
find it. Do not hide it.

4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor do I
need your supervision, or even your presence. I
have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since
you lived here. I know what I am doing. Standing
at the door staring at me, will not make me clean
faster.

5. There is no need to go into the barn and help yourself to the
feed. Meals
are given at specific times of the day. There is
a feed schedule. You know the schedule. I know
you know the schedule. You know that I know that
you know the schedule. There is no need to
help yourself.

6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, pitchfork, wheel
barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, fence,
or the occasional dog.

7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do not try
to move it while I am cleaning your stall.

8. Just because I go into the
barn doesn't mean you automatically get food.
There is other stuff in the barn. Stuff you don't
want. Like de wormer and fly spray , shots, medicine.

9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be enjoyed...by anyone.

10. Water travels through the hose.
If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The
water buckets will fill much faster.

11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the
following things will kill you: fly spray,
plastic bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and
other small rodents, or bright blue
tarps.

12. Although I understand the
need for you to go to the bathroom, it is not
necessary to hold it in all day until
the moment I finish cleaning your stall and
put away the wheel barrow.

13. Accidents happen. However, I'm not altogether sure you're
not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide
to impale yourself on some sort of object, please
try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the
weekend, or Christmas.

14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your
water bucket does not make my job easier, and it
deprives you of water. Please find a new
spot.

15. Whinnying as loudly as you can
in my face does not make me feed you any
faster.

16. I have to wait patiently too while you are having your shoes
tacked on.
There is no need to bite me.

2 comments:

Mallie1025@aol.com said...

That was simply hysterical!!
Micki

Patricia A. Guthrie said...

Thank you. I wish I could claim it as my own, but alas, it's one of those email pass alongs.

I loved it too.